So the other day Victoria posted this entry about how she unlocked herself from a bathroom with a pair of tweezers and I commented there that, I had never thought about that eventuality, the fact that while you are alone you could inadvertently lock yourself up somewhere, but the thought of it could potentially freak me out.
Consider me FREAKED OUT FOREVER.
Because yesterday, days after I first thought “huh, locking myself up somewhere would suck dick” I go and lock myself in a sealed room at work. I’m a laboratory technician: the room was a sealed hallway about thirteen by four feet where air was barely coming in from BENEATH THE DOORS. And it was situated in the one side of the building that IS NOT IN USE. People. I COULD HAVE DIED IN THERE. Well, not die, but ALMOST DIE.
I had to do something up there so I grabbed what I needed from my work area, not including our portable radio that we are suppose to use at all times because, who needs that anyway (my unresponsible side, here I show you it), I told my shift partner where I was going (my responsible side, I’m showing you it) and left.
I did what I had to do and used a shortcut that had always been in use, until last night. I opened the door from the room I was in, entered the Hall of Entrapment and when I went to open the door that lead outside, the one that had a huge, red-lighted EXIT sign on top of it, it didn’t budge. The handle turned, but it was sealed, that’s the way it’s supposed to work for contamination purposes. Except this area is not in use, so WTF engineers, there’s nothing to contaminate! I turned back to go out the way I came in but, haha, the door has only one handle ON THE OTHER SIDE. And there is one other door to the side, same story! Three doors and all of them where sealed on my side.
When I realized that I was locked in my first thought was “I’m gonna be here until tomorrow” and then my blood pressure almost broke my arteries. I tried to force the door, funny because I can barely open normal doors but it seemed like a good idea at the moment. I took a moment to calm myself so I wouldn’t die of a heart attack before I died of dehydration because that would’ve been embarrassing and then I perused what I had on me and decided to take off my jacket and hang it on the door (because it had a window that could be seen from outside) with my ID pinned on it so if anyone walked through they would know something was off because we wear uniforms and jackets can only be underneath them. Then I went all Bond and tried to pick the door’s lock with a pen pin. I wish I had footage of that part. For a fleeting moment I thought I had a chance to make it work and I know I must have had the shadow of smugness hanging over my head.
I wish I could write about how I reflected on important things and then I could insert a life lesson at the end and tie everything with a big, pretty red bow but honestly, I was thinking about getting thirsty, wanting to go pee and my blood sugar levels. All I had on me was a sugar-free Halls piece and head phones for my cell phone that was in my locker, two stories bellow and all that I reflected was how no one would be able to tell I was missing until a good couple of hours had pass. I feared no one would bother to go check on me and that no one from outside would have a way to communicate that something was wrong. I feared someone would walk by and not notice me. Most of all, I feared I would break down in there and make everything worst with unnecessary tears and snot.
I sat on the floor. I walked around. I began to sing to myself. Tangent: It took me most my adult life to accept my own voice as a soothing sound even though I sang all my childhood and was encouraged by outsiders. Let me tell you something, the Hall of Entrapment is a pathetic place to spend more than thirty seconds in, but it had perfect acoustic.
After a bit more than an hour my shift partner appeared on the window, and no, I’ve never been so happy to see a shift partner in my life. I signaled him to get me out of there and then I had to coach him through the process because he didn’t even know how to get inside the main room. He got a bit nervous too because he thought he couldn’t open two doors outside and I heard him trying to break in, bless his heart.
I went back to the Hall of Entrapment today with an engineer to check on the door and put back a grill I took off from a vent (not a good idea) and he told me that he would show me how he could open the doors from inside. I locked him in and fifteen seconds later he determined there was no way out.
He says I was really lucky last night. Duh, dude, DUH.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
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