Tuesdays of Texture | Week 14 of 2018

Tuesdays of Texture is a really awesome weekly feature. You can read about it over here; but the short version is I want to see a bit of your world so link up your post in the comments!

A year ago I went to an interview that broke me into tiny little pieces.

I interviewed for my dream job and on the last of four interviews and after hearing a third of my answer to his ONLY question, the interviewer let me know that I was not “prudent” enough for the position BUT if I had a client account that I could give to his company, he would gladly assign me to that project. You know, I only had to give him MY job.

I melted into that chair as soon as he finished talking, my mind giving me a pretty comprehensive brainstorming of all the ways and reasons why I was a failure. I don’t even remember walking out of the building, I was so out of myself.

It took me a couple of months to gather the pieces of that failure and transform them into the steps to find a job. Not my dream job, but a job that gives me what I need from a job right now.

It’s been three months and some days I’ve felt like I am the BOSS and some days I feel like I’m not capable of doing anything right, which is a new thing for me, as I’m usually pretty confident of my skills. Then again, I had never worked for serious outside my field so there’s that feeling that I got to learn EVERYTHING from scratch, even if it’s not actually true.

Speaking about bosses, my boss is crazy. Which is the worst kind of boss, right after drug addict boss, which is definitely the worst in my list of bad bosses. Crazy bosses don’t remember the instructions for the projects that they gave you because they can’t keep up with all the crap they make up on the spot or that it was them who changed the excel table. Combine that with an “I’m never wrong” policy and it’s a recipe for disaster. I’ve had a couple of really bad days on account of her crazy.

Last week it was one of those days were she was giving me a hard time with a project by asking me to figure something out and report it. I had no resources except my very limited experience and a sour partner that is so unpleasant to work with last Thursday she threw a snack on my desk asking “do you want a turd?!”

In my desperation to get the information I needed to finish the task at hand I picked up the phone and called someone I had listed as reference. I didn’t knew if that company had the information I needed, but I figured if they gave me ANY info it would be more than what I had, which was nothing at all.

A woman picked up the phone and responded that yes, she was the person I was looking for and then when I asked her about the order number I had, she said “no, that’s mine” and hung up. I gave up on that, put together what I could handle and presented my boss with the incomplete task. I figured if she had cared about getting the entire thing, she would have bothered giving me the list of contacts I needed to get the info we needed.

Then the next day something extraordinary happened: that person that hung up on me called me. It was THE FIRST call from a company that I received on my desk, transferred from the receptionist and everything.

She wanted to APOLOGISE for her behavior the day before because it turned out, she was THE PRESIDENT of the company and she liked to treat her clients well.

She had her daughter on the hospital when I called her and she felt interrupted, but she admitted that was no way of treating someone and she offered me her service and her cell phone number to contact her whenever I needed. Then she told me she would send me an email on all the updated info from the orders she had in her system, which was not what I needed the day before but helped me a ton on reconciling all the info I had.

I found this pic of this tree I photographed in the parking the day of the interview that broke me one year ago. That tree’s bark “peels” itself off in pieces. That’s exactly what I feel I’ve done these last months in my professional career. Every layer that I’ve taken off slowly reveals what I know and can do now as a professional resource.

Maybe I’m still working on being an office person, but I’m on my way.

Share your Tuesdays of Texture post in the comments and consider them the place to check out and visit participations.

Have a great week.

Tuesdays of Texture | Week – second of work – of 2018

Tuesdays of Texture is a super cool weekly feature. You can read about it over here; but the short version is I want to see a bit of your world so link up your post in the comments!

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#beachlife

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I had been searching for a job since I move in the summer of 2016. Have been offered opportunities in my background field (lab work) but I had to decline because I had no one to babysit Little J, and because I wanted to be able to work during school hours rather than nights.

I beggining to loose hope about finding something that played more on my clerical and administrative experience in ex-manfriend’s business when I received an interview opportunity for a ‘purchase assistant’ job.

I didn’t get it, but I doubled my efforts into tweaking my resume and searching for better locations. To the glory of Jesus, I’m now a ‘purchase oficinist’. I’m a secretary in a purchase area. I basically do all the data entry and clerical work so that the purchase person can do her work.

Since I once wanted to be a secretary when I was in third grade, it’s not bad.

Pic taken in a short beach escapate, savoring the beach winds.

Share your posts if you want in the comments, sorry for the late post and have a great week!

Tuesdays of Texture | Week 4 of 2018

Tuesdays of Texture is a super cool weekly feature. You can read about it over here; but the short version is I want to see a bit of your world so link up your post in the comments!

For Hurricane Irma we took in this sand crab to show Little J how we were going to take care of ourselves and each other during the winds. It was a blessed distraction and she got to happily release it the next day.

Have a great week!

Tuesdays of Texture | Week 3 of 2018

Tuesdays of Texture is a super cool weekly feature. You can read about it over here; but the short version is I want to see a bit of your world so link up your post in the comments!

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Beetle dude. #insect #beetle

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Found at my uncle’s. About three inches long.

Share you posts in the comments if you wish and have a great week!

PD although I have power as of yesterday (hurray!) I don’t have internet service yet; will start linking up when I do.

Tuesdays of Texture | Week 2 of 2018

Tuesdays of Texture is a super cool weekly feature. You can read about it over here; but the short version is I want to see a bit of your world so link up your post in the comments!

Have a great week peeps! Share your link in the comments 🙂

Tuesdays of Texture |Week 1 of 2018

Tuesdays of Texture is a super cool weekly feature. You can read about it over here; but the short version is I want to see a bit of your world so link up your post in the comments!

Can’t link up, but please consider the comment section the place to go and check out everyone else’s contribution.

Love you all! Have a happy day 🙂

Tuesdays of Texture, a week of December 2017

Tuesdays of Texture is a really awesome weekly feature. You can read about it over here; but the short version is I want to see a bit of your world so link up your post in the comments!

I saw a ribbon of a rainbow floating on top of the ocean this morning. It looked like a vision among the merengue-fluffy purple clouds, the soft waves playing with the bottom of it.

It felt like a gift.

Then I went into a little chapel in my girls’ school and found they put baby Jesus in his manger in front of the altar and he took my breath away, he looked so precious.

Another gift.

I hope you have a wonderful week pre-Christmas. Don’t forget to send your good vibes to those who need it.

Tuesdays of Texture Week before last of 2017

Tuesdays of Texture is a really awesome weekly feature. You can read about it over here; but the short version is I want to see a bit of your world so link up your post in the comments!

Very short Tuesday’s of Texture post, just to share something.

Thanks to all those that kept sharing Tuesday’s of Texture post during this time. I still don’t have electricity in my house but sometimes I get a little data signal on my mobile, so if you feel like sharing your post, consider the comment section the place to gather and check out each other’s contribution.

Hope you have an excellent week.

New love, old love

I love my island more now.

I love her broken.

I love her with the new love of the newly-wed husband when he sees his wife scrubbing the bathroom for the first time. Hair disheveled, sweaty face, wearing a t-shirt with holes and bleach stains, stinking, and he loves her more because he sees her in reality and that makes her more real, and therefore more his.

I think she looks grand in her destruction.

How all the greens bloomed brighter than before because she took great care to put on her best face for us. She’s wearing her red lipstick, gold sequin dress, her best and highest heels. I can see the sadness in her eyes because I know her so well, but she looks stunning and she takes my breath away. I embrace her with tears in my eyes.

I love you my island. I love you much more.

The Spirit of my island

This was written exactly one month after hurricane Maria.

I

The Puerto Rico I grew up in is green, all green.
It extends vibrantly until it reaches a decisive blue topped with white frothy waves. It has a blinding, resilient white light that you have to avoid, turning your head from it, if you want to watch the sky.

When it’s sunny, it has a forget-me-not blue sky and everything looks clear and sharp. The sand beneath your feet will be warm and white and in the mountains the birds and the trees will be having a party of joyful sounds that welcome you and make you just-happy. When it rains, everything gets a romantic, almost nostalgic veil and your heart feels like a bolero swaying to a soft melodic tune. It feels like a good glass of fine wine, with a breeze in your face.

I have run all my life, both in my mind and with my feet, through it’s forests. I have laid under a palm tree and thought “this right here, this warmth around me, this ocean in front of me, are of me and I am of them”.

II

The Puerto Rico I wake up to now is destroyed.

Every single leaf was burned by wind. The plains were so savagely cleaned of vegetation that I can now see from a few blocks off my house, standing in the street without any effort, all the way to the town center, which is ten or fifteen minutes away. The land gave it’s trees away to the hurricane winds as if saying “yes, take them all, I am in need of new ones”. For days after the heavy rains the rivers refused to return to their places. They rebelled a little longer, wild and angry until they finally tamed down like a herd of wild horses that had seen danger and had shown their courage, swinging their manes, jumping, puffing and snorting and then upon seeing that their anger was unfounded, returned to their grazing a little reluctant.
I can finally see the shapes of every mountain around us, and see how so many of them have caves that the taínos used to scout the coasts.

The first time I drove out of my house after hurricane María, three days after it went right through us; through our island and through our hearts, and through our lives, and through our dreams – three days after it went through our futures, for now we will talk of the days before the hurricane and the days after the hurricane and no one will even have to ask ‘which hurricane?’ Because everyone will know – the roads looked like they do on those ‘end of the world’ movies. Every few feet there was a tree or power pole and I had to keep going from one side of the road to the other. There was no zinc piece of ceiling in it’s place and they all lay on the ground looking like someone curled them as you curl a ribbon with scissors under a balloon.

I cried.

It hurt. Every single broken thing hurt. I also felt alive, very consciously alive “I am living right now, in this broken place” I thought and I felt the air in my lungs and I held on to the steering wheel, feeling it under my hands, and I felt my hair on my cheeks. Everything looked surreal but also very true, very on us. I was the broken trees, I was the broken house with no ceiling and no walls, I was the sky over me and the ground under me, and everything was me. I extended outwards further than I had ever before, and every other person around me did too.

We looked at each other and we knew.

III

The same day the hurricane left us behind, neighbors called each other, in friendly shouts – there were no communication systems for days – and they cleared their streets. People gathered wood pieces from the street and repaired what they could. I saw three houses around my neighborhood with fixed ceilings that same day by nightfall.

I walked around drinking the new surroundings in, trying to make peace with them. “I know you, I accept you, I embrace you and I love you”, I saluted every thing before me. I talked to people I never saw before and one of them, holding a box, called on me and said “do you want an avocado?” And I said “if you give it to me, I’ll take and I’ll thank you” but what we were saying was “would you share this new land with me? Would you be my sister? Would you care for me?” And we said “yes, I will share this land with you. I will be your sister. I will care for you.”

We bathed outside under rain water. We soaked in the sun. We talked to our neighbors.There was no radio, so at any time of the day, I could hear my neighbors singing. We found joy in looking at someone else’s face and bless them because they were alive. Little by little we gained back the spring in our step.

A month after the hurricane went through us, right through us all, something peculiar happened: Puerto Rican flags started to pop up everywhere. In front of stores, in houses, in cars. It looks like we are celebrating Tito Trinidad winning a new belt, or a new Puerto Rican Miss Universe, or Monica Puig winning the gold medal. We were celebrating our lives. It is a wink to our compatriots, it is a hand in the shoulder, a “I know it’s a challenge, but you can do it”, a “don’t give up”, a “you’re doing good”.

The spirit of our people was shaken, but not destroyed. The island gave everything willingly, ready for it’s renovation, but the hearts of Puerto Rican’s it protected.

Every one of us is Puerto Rico, and we are not broken.