Do you know what a BDS is? Im’ma tell you right now.
A Brain Detonating Shit is when someone does or says something that at the moment, though it might blaffle you or confuse you, unleashes it’s power hours later, days later; it blows up then and melts your brain.
The implantation of BDS is an art that only few people can master. I have the pleasure to know a few. BDSs are the one thing that can fuck me up like no other type of phsycological bullshit. They make me violent in a way that no insult or fight can. Mostly because I rarely understand them (part of the magic of the BDS, it must be something that you can’t understand right away and I’m a very logical person, a problem solver, thus my whole sanity falls on the fact that I get stuff. Otherwise I ask for clarification. Otherwise? I loose my shit.), and if there is something that kills me, it is not understanding why someone does something to me.
It’s like slow death. I need to know if you are angry with me, or dissapointed, or sad; I need a reason behind your hurting me. Otherwise, I won’t deny it, I go batshit crazy.
Last Saturday I received about ten text messages that served as BDSs. The messages ended in nothingness. You know in The Neverending Story when the nothingness comes and swallows stuff? That’s what was left after the messages. By ten o’clock I wanted to peel off parts of my skin. Every couple of hours I would conclude that it didn’t happen, that’s why it is so crazy! So I checked my cell phone about fifty times only to find the messages there and fall into shock again because IT HAPPENED. I AM LIVING THE CRAZY!
I dealt with this by myself. Nobody would understand without a long recount of a story I don’t want to tell so, I was alone in this. This, inevitably lead to sadness. Sadness leads to anger. You know, what Yoda says. Then you know that one of my specialties when I’m sad and angry AND alone is to slash anyone that dares come close enough to feel it.
My poor coworkers had a couple of rough days.