Vieques for beginners

After a journey that was in the least, extremely interesting and challenging we got to Vieques and had just like Phizhy said (it’s funny how that’s exactly how I described it on the way home), an illegal amount of fun.  We endured a ride in a bus with no air conditioning with 5973934 persons inside, a very hot day, the carrying of too many packs to handle, a beach with killing cadillos and attacking algae, rain, the humor of those with hunger, PMS, dizziness, boringness and many other things but we found something to laugh about every single time and thus, we enjoyed even the moments when we looked at each other and couldn’t believe what was happening.

Vieques is beautiful, we were not disappointed by it at all, on the contrary after we got pass the fact that even though we were in Puerto Rico we had to order our food in English and that all roads are fit for ONE SINGLE vehicle and people drive crazier than anything we had seen, Vieques surprised us with many beautifully breathtaking views and sites.

Getting there was, like JulieAnn says, de película, we could write a book of the journey and it would have about 800 pages.  The first day we thought we were being tracked by some dark force that wanted us to kill each other: wives were asking where was the highest point of the island so they could throw their husbands off, people were threatening others with decapitation, things got lost and broken in suspicious ways, it was unnerving.  But we shook it off and got away from that and found ourselves enjoying an exotic beach free of deathly nature.  We ate some really great food by the beach, my personal Jamaican Chicken was perfect and everything started to look better and a couple of hours later we were exploring Playa Esperanza extensively in different groups and ah! The breeze and the beach and the sand! And the freedom to run away from 12 insane humans!  Lovely.

By the time we were hopping inside the funny blue bus of Island Adventures we were all pretty cheery.  The bio bay, like it’s commonly called, is nothing short of amazing, but the bus trip and the orientation by Marc (friend of ours, it turned out)?  Are by themselves worth the tour.  The bus trip is comparable to any Disney ride, the bus goes at 60 mph in a single vehicle road while Marc is standing in the middle giving an orientation about the wild life in Vieques that’s more like a scientific stand up comedy show.  I almost peed that bus.

Then we got to the lagoon, and literally the bus stops at the lagoon, like 3 feet from it.  We got in the boat and immediately saw the bioluminescence and a beautiful starry night.  But after 20 minutes it was as if we had travel universes, I had never seen a starry night with all the starts like that night, it was too much! Marc showed us all the important constellations and pointed at them with a magic laser that seems to touch each star, and bioluminescence?  Oh my God.  The water was alight.  Comparing it with Las Cabezas, it’s like seeing a match burn and then see a lighted spot light.  And Las Cabezas shines green whereas Mosquito Bay shines electric BLUE.   The experience can not be transmitted, we concluded, by any human communication form, you have to be there and see your body sparkling with electric blue lights and leaving a lighted way in the water that STAYED lighted moments later.  Apart of that, we were all together, all the crazies in one spot, you could hear us laughing and splashing from kilometers away.  “Mira esto!  Haz esto, haz esto!”   “tomame una foto así, así!!!”  it was a playground.

We swam in the Light of Jesus, again.

We had one of the best dinners I’ve had in my life ranking top 10, we had to walk a lot to find it because we were half naked and wet and people basically thought we were stranded crazies, but when we did, we enjoyed some great food and company.  We had an epiphany on what makes a cheeseburger and a hamburger special, and when we did we had one of the best laughs in the weekend.  We laughed so much we concluded that the bioluminescent  lagoon must have some sort of acid.  Cheese was never so important in a conversation before.

When we got back to our guesthouse the strange forces that persecuted us in Red Beach manifested themselves again when I went to take a shower and… there was no hot water.  I learned later that a switch had broken (more broken things!) so I, hater of cold showers, had to shut my mouth and curse silently.  I went to sleep somewhere around 11, with a book in my hands, the TV on and my warm fleece thinking I was so glad that day was over because MAN it was LONG and challenging and MAN!

But the peace was not long lived because at 12:19am I heard JulieAnn knocking on my door and even though I told her to go the fuck away (that was my exact wording) she didn’t stopped knocking until … she opened the door.  MY DOOR.  The one for MY freaking room.  I got ready to kill her but right before I pounce on her with my slashing nails ready she started singing Happy Birthday;  and so did everyone else.  About 8342946 persons entered MY room (mind you, my hair was wet and I was in jammies)  one of them holding a CAKE the other 8342945 pointing flashing cameras at my horrified face.  I think if it wasn’t because I smelled sugar a massacre would’ve taken place.  JulieAnn says she wanted a crucifix to defend them as I was cursing and making rude and angry gestures at the cameras and I made it clear that I absolutely hated all of them, BUT that it would be good if we ate the cake.  With some alcohol.  So we did.

After my birthday cake party (where Rod drank for the very unique time because his wife was not with him, and I recorded him stating this so we can make fun of him for many months to come) we went to sleep with the highest levels of exhaustion ever lived in my 27 years.   27!

Next morning I had some custom made breakfast, and the congratulations of the owner of the guesthouse and his wife.  The owner gave me a very nice birthday gift of a free round of Margarita frozen’s for ALL OF US that he drank with us after a very nice toast.  Then we went off to explore the island.  EdGard gave us the tour with Diz’s husband on his side, both pointing out important stuff, Diz’s husband focusing mainly on things like green grass.  We must have stop in about 17 different spots.  All of them beautiful and breathtaking.  We went inside an (abandoned) military bunker that read NAVY OUT, vieque libre!! And at one point EdGard was picking out sea stars from the ocean so we could  touch them.  What can be cooler than that?

Then we ate. Then we broke the law.  We decided we wanted to do something exiting so we found a way to enter a touristic spot while it was close, El Faro.  There’s a secret way to enter, a local that lives close by told us, and in we were.  We took about 300 pictures there because it has one of the best views in the island and then we played and then we went to the harbor again.

After getting on two different ferries, we were on our way back to Fajardo, where people speak Spanish!

So we had an awesome good time with too many good moments and anecdotes.

Now I’m 27.

I don’t feel 27.  And it’s ok.


2 thoughts on “Vieques for beginners

  1. narami says:

    Reblogged this on de monte y mar and commented:

    For my I Remember series:
    I found this post from my trip to Vieques and it’s blue bioluminescent lagoon. What times! Really good times.
    Side Note: I’m so glad I went before the shark attack incident that occurred a few years back (2010?) because although it’s the only registered incident there I wouldn’t have gone in the water and if there’s something that can change your life it’s seeing those dinoflagellates shining on you.
    Have fun this weekend!


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